Getting Married at 22

How marrying a decade before most is making lives better.

My wife and I, at ages 21 and 22, got married on June 28th, 2025. One of my groomsmen, Dalton, got married to his wife when he was 18. Another groomsman, Craig, was 20 when he got married. My best man, Joe, got married last summer at 22. The average age for marriage in the United States is 30 for men and 28 for women. Why is my social circle getting hitched almost a full decade younger than the national average? Who knows. I’m sure our reasons are all different; however, the consequences so far have been pretty epic. This post isn’t an argument for why society should go back to marrying young. Rather, it is a breakdown of how marrying almost a decade earlier than most people is improving our lives.

Almost every time the guys get together, we pick up right where we left off. Our short stints of time together involve making a series of dumb decisions before talking late into the night about anything under the sun. Sometimes we go a full year without hanging out. I worry the range of life we live (full-time jobs, kids, college, etc) will upset the dynamic, but it never does.

The groomsmen stayed two nights in an Airbnb near Wasco, Oregon before the wedding. It was close to a lake, a golf course, and a bar. Although our full day of golfing before closing down the bar was fun, the first night was my favorite. We sat around a propane fire pit until 2 a.m. Dalton talked about how grateful he was for his wife and baby. Craig talked about how lucky he was to be married to someone so out of his league with a baby on the way. And Joe said, “I found the one I was looking for!” Of course, no relationship is all sunshine and rainbows, but it was obvious their marriages made life better.

There was a sense of laid-back satisfaction that didn’t exist growing up, which is the first reason marrying young is making our lives better. For us, getting married made life simpler (remember simple is not the same as easy) because the number of people we worry about impressing shrinks to one. The days of trying to be attractive to any woman are over, as are the days of trying to be more attractive than other men– no more peacocking. You could say the same is true about a long-term committed relationship, but it's different when you’re legally and spiritually bound to another person for life. The level of security marriage brings is incomparable to long-term committed relationships. It’s impossible to quantify how much energy is subconsciously put into finding a partner until the hunt is over. I’m here to tell you it isn’t a little. The human desire is strong, even if you don’t realize it.

I used the word simpler because ending the hunt doesn’t mean everything gets easy. Getting married and turning into a careless slob is a great way to ruin everything. Although the number of people you try to impress shrinks to one, you have to impress that person for life. It’s no small task, but 100% possible with enough thought and effort. If you get the most important relationship you will ever have right, the simplicity that comes from marriage frees up all kinds of mental bandwidth. This is the second reason marrying young is making our lives better.

With all of the freed bandwidth that comes from being out of the hunt for a partner, you can work hard on caring for that partner and building a life. The days of wondering what to do or saying, “When I settle down,” are numbered. Our culture fantasizes about the lone wolf who never settles down, bouncing from thing to thing in the name of free spirit. That may be the life for some people, but in my humble opinion, it’s a highway to dissatisfaction for most. Settling down doesn’t mean working in a cubicle, coming home to the same dinner every night, and getting fat in the recliner. It means building a life with your partner, with all of that freed-up bandwidth. Once again, not easy, but likely to make life better. There’s a reason Craig, Joe, Dalton, and I talk about buying homes and business ideas more than partying. It’s probably the same reason married men earn more money than their single counterparts.

The last way marriage is improving our lives is about motivation. This one came to me on the honeymoon. We were nearing the end of our time on the Big Island of Hawaii. With one full day left, I talked my way into renting a Porsche 718 Boxster for the price of an economy car from Enterprise. We pulled over on the way back to the hotel to watch the sunset over the Pacific Ocean.

Sitting on the parking lot’s rock barrier facing the ocean, Maddie asked what goals I had for our marriage. We talked about regular date nights, setting a good example for kids someday, and making the right financial choices to avoid stress and conflict. We had an amazing conversation until the sun went down, at which point I turned around and realized we were about to drive down the Hawaiian coast in a baby version of my dream car. I took in the moment and smiled.

All I could think about was how hard I will work to achieve the goals we set and make dream moments like the one we had just experienced a reality. It’s weird, but I started thinking about the next steps in my home gym business, career paths, and what to do when we got home– not for money or status, but for the girl in the passenger seat and the life we will live together. It was and is a visceral sense of motivation that I don’t believe is achievable any other way.

I’ll leave you with this from my journal. If you’re a young man (or a single man) with big goals, consider stewing on it:

“Marriage is a cheat code for motivation because when done right, you want to conquer the world, hand it to your partner, and enjoy the spoils together. So note to self: keep doing it right and do what needs to be done so someday the world is in her hands.”

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